12 Online Dating Disasters That Will Make You Die

Online dating lets you meet many more people than you would be able to in real life. The downside of that is, you also meet many more assholes than you ever would in real life. It’s now a right of passage that before you meet a new partner, you must first meet a bunch of assholes.

Check that—asshole is an understatement. These people are horrible trolls who take their sexual frustration out on the rest of us. We all want that Disney ending, but in the meantime here are 12 online dating disasters that will make you laugh until you cry.  

This is a boy with a penis who’s only seen a hand.

I’m guessing this guy’s role model is Chris Brown.

I haven’t heard this line since middle school either. And that was probably the last time he’s spoke to a woman.

And—the boyfriend of the year award goes to…this guy!

FYI—opening with a ‘daddy’ line is a definite no-no.

1800-Guys-Who-Get-Butt-Hurt-When-Dissed

Ladies, this is Spencer. He’s clearly single.

Here’s a guy who just can’t handle a woman who knows what she wants…even when it’s what he wants too.

Roses are red, violets are blue; you need a better pick up line if you want to get screwed.

When a boy wants to be a dad and it just doesn’t go the way he plans.

I mean, what girl doesn’t want her name on a tree?  

So—this isn’t going to work out? I thought he had this one in the bag when he opened with Starcraft.